Sunday, May 10, 2009

Getting My Ya-yas Out

Happy Mother's Day! What an appropriate day for me to begin getting my ya-yas out. Today was uneventful in the form of devotion from my son. He's not about holidays that are not relevant to him and that do not provide piles of toys upon rising from bed. That's fine with me though. He got me 2 plants last year, and I already killed one of them. The guilt! When Neenie asked him what he would like to get me for Mother's Day this year he suggested Star Wars action figures. "But that's more a toy for you." "Neenie, Mom loves Star Wars, and she doesn't have one action figure!" How thoughtful. Really. The neighbor asked him what he'd like to get me if he had as much money as he wanted. "A card." "No, you have a million dollars! You can get her anything you want!" "A card." Well, at least I know what to expect for the rest of my life.

Let's get introduced, shall we? My name is Jen. I'm 38, and I live with my mother and my son in Birmingham, Alabama. I'm going to use the pseudonym of "Monkey" for my son. I'm the only one who calls him that. He chatters non-stop and climbs all over things, so it is appropriate. My mom is Neenie. Monkey's father shall be referred to as "MBD" (my baby's daddy). He doesn't enter into our story much, but his genes are ever present. Our dog is Indiana Bones, or Indy, for short. He's a 4 pound chihuahua, and he seems to be permanently attached to my hip.

I have Lyme disease. I've probably had it since I was 10. I have been on antibiotics, among other things, for 7 months now, and am just beginning to feel better. Monkey was diagnosed with autism after he turned 2. He is 6 now and pretty much recovered. I have spent my life thinking I was crazy and feeling just plain awful. One kind of mystery sickness after another. I researched and researched and never for one second did I guess it was lyme. I'll talk more about my journey with lyme a little later. We'll cover Monkey's recovery as well.

We are so blessed and so thankful to be where we are today. Just a year ago, two years ago, three years ago we were in dire straights. I know that talking to other people with lyme or parents battling autism and negotiating special needs in their children helped me tremendously. I hope that I'll be able to touch upon some things that might help you too. I also hope that I may be able to make you laugh some, as I think my kid and I are a riot! Six year olds are just wacky in general, and yes, kids do say the darndest things!

I will also be tacking on old journal entries to my posts so you can see how it was for me in the midst of things. It was not pleasant. Reading back over my diaries makes me appreciate the present so much. And, of course, I will also be including the ever popular (in my head) "It's a Mystery!" and "Unsolicited Advice!" There may also be some adult language being used so don't say I didn't warn you.

It's a Mystery!:
Last week Monkey and I went to an open house at a summer camp. There was a pond so we ended up bringing 3 tadpoles home. I was sure they would be dead in 24 hours. Nope. We threw some algae (pond scum) in with them, and they seemed to be thriving...until this morning. I've been collecting rain water and giving them a bit every few days. I figured that I needed to treat them like fish and sort of keep their little habitat clean-ish. So last night when I went to bed there were 3 tadpoles. This morning there were 2. It's a mystery! What the hell happened to the third guy? There's no carcass. Do they eat each other like gerbils?

I was walking the dog this morning, and we ran into one of our little chameleon friends outside. I'm not sure if he's a chameleon though or a salamander. It's a mystery! I'm thinking chameleon though cause I did see him change from green to brown before my eyes. He also mumbled something about car insurance...

On our walk I also noticed a yellow jacket nest near the front windows. We have paper wasps above the back door, mud dawbers under the front porch overhang and those big red wasps behind the gutter attached to the garage. Did I mention I am terrified of stinging insects? So, how do I get rid of these pests without using pesticides? It's a mystery! We don't use pesticides here since Monkey can not detoxify. Although, I'm tempted to call in the big guns for those red wasps. They're like tanks.

Unsolicited Advice!:
If you need to get pizza or pit stains out of your white clothes (did I just say "pit stains"?) try Clorox Clean-up Cleaner with Bleach. No, I'm not getting a kick back. I just had some stains on a favorite white shirt and tried multiple things until this one worked.

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